belief

Investment

I was listening to IHOPKC yesterday and they sang “You’ve invested in me the authority, to determine the nation’s destiny.”

In Luke 10, Jesus sends out 72 messengers in twos to every location that he is about to visit.

“17 Then the seventy[e] returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.”

18 And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.”

We should pray, and ask God for a return on his investment. Seeking direction on how he wants to use us to get his harvest and ignite change (in general, not just concerning racial injustices). The Harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  He’s invested his authority in us, and trusts that he will reap that harvest before he returns.  GO!

Just Ride

My father and I used to go to travel to see my grandmother every weekend. She lived about an hour and a half away from us, so I was pretty familiar with the route that we took to get there and even had an internal alarm clock that woke me up when we got about fifteen minutes away from her house.  Even though I was always in the car on the highway I was never the kid that asked “Dad are we there yet?” However, when my dad would tell me to put my shoes and coat on to go somewhere outside of our normal schedule I ALWAYS asked “Dad where are we going?” Sometimes he would answer me right away, other times I had to ask him about six our seven times before he would answer, and sometimes he would say “just ride.”

I was thinking yesterday that sometimes my relationship with God is like this as well.  I’m not so concerned with the “are we there yet?” However, when I get into unfamiliar territory I consistently ask “Where are we going?” Now, there’s nothing wrong with asking God for the destination that you’re headed towards but I’ve found that my question is often rooted in control.  I want to know every move, how we are getting there, where we are going, why we are taking that specific route, etc…

I’ve started to see that if I knew every single detail of my life that would make me all knowing, which would make me God, and that is NOT the case.  Some things God reveals to us all at once, sometimes, piece by piece, and sometimes we just won’t have all of the details.  It is during those moments where you just have to trust.  He’s your father and protector, I PROMISE you he won’t take you to any destination that will harm you. So, if you can’t see it or if the destination has not been completely revealed to you…Just ride.

FEEL Your Way Around, and Keep Going!

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This will probably be one of my most transparent posts.  Last night I had a dream.  I had a dream where I basically relived my fathers death in present day.  I’m not sure if the dream means anything yet, but when I woke up I was messed up emotionally.  To relive the worst day of my life was heart wrenching and tormenting.

I got up. (That says a lot right there, but I’ll explain later.) I got up, got dressed and went to class.  I ran a lot of errands and during my last errand i stopped at my old job to return something.  A lot of my old co-workers were saying that I looked happy, and that I looked great! I got in the car, got something to eat, and drove to my next class.  I could feel the anxiety and the weight trying to sneak up on me. I pulled into the parking lot and tears began to flow, on the brink of an anxiety attack I simply said, “No.” During the duration of the day, I texted a friend and told her how much that dream messed me up, and she said all that she could say: “think on other things.” While this statement would’ve angered me five years ago, I simply accepted that this was all there was to offer.

You can’t EXPECT direction from someone who has not been to the location.

I posted in a group I was added to a while ago by a friend that also lost her father, before I even got a response I felt better.

I walked you through my day for this reason:

5 years ago I would have stayed in bed, 5 years ago I would have suppressed the pain, 5 years ago I would have became angry because NO ONE knew the answer, 5 years ago I wouldn’t have sought wise counsel from someone who had been in the same situation, and 5 years ago I would have felt alone because of all of the above.

Today I got up, today I expressed how I felt, today I knew that I could not expect things from people that hadn’t been in that situation, today I sought wise counsel from people that had been in my shoes, today I KNEW that I was not alone.

Feeling down about something? Don’t beat yourself up, keep progressing, find out who’s been through similar situations, KNOW that God will NEVER leave you, you’re never alone.

Most of all, FEEL!!! Your feelings are REAL. If you do not address them and choose to suppress them, they WILL resurface.  FEEL and try your hardest to keep going! I felt today, I ran into a bump…but I kept going.