depressed

Dress Rehearsal,

I posted this quote on my facebook page yesterday: “You perfect what you rehearse, be careful of what you are habitually practicing.”

I was in church while I posted it.  I had finished singing during praise and worship, I sat down and i scrolled down instagram for an update lol.  I seen a picture of my dad on my cousin’s page.  (I had taken note that his birthday was coming up a few days prior, but yesterday as I woke up, got dressed, went to church, and worshipped the date didn’t even cross my mind.)  So I looked at the caption and thought “Oh! That’s right, today IS the 17th.”

I started to make a Happy Birthday post, because that is what i’ve been doing every year since he passed away and before.  Along with the day he passed away, and Fathers Day, but then that is when I thought “You perfect what you rehearse, be careful of what you are habitually practicing.”  So I came to the conclusion that it is perfectly ok to miss my father, and to specifically miss him on holidays.  HOWEVER, to consciously and purposely make a point to remember and feel sad on that day would be to rehearse grief, and I am not interested in performing that in my everyday life.  I would rather be so consumed in good things that I stumble across it, than to purpose in my heart and mind to be sad.  I am NOT saying that making note of a missed loved one is unacceptable, this is just my personal example.

If you practice grief, you will perform grief.  If you rehearse fear, you will perform fear.  if you practice joy, you will perform joy.  If you rehearse love, you will perform love.

So, what are you practicing that will show up in your daily performance?

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Outdated.

I have the CNN app on my phone to keep current on some of the things that are happening in the world.  Today I actually opened the app by accident.  The first article that I seen was a very tragic event.  My mind started racing on how this could happen AGAIN?  I thought that it was very unlikely for something so tragic to happen this frequent, and so I checked the date.   It turns out that since I hadn’t actually opened the app in a while it never refreshed itself to be current.

I’ve noticed that the same thing happens in my life sometimes.

I know some of what the word of God says about me, I even know parts of my purpose, and parts of the big picture of my life. However, when circumstances come up instead of checking my emotions and reminding myself that I’m not the old person that I used to be…sometimes I find myself going into a temporary state of anxiety.  The problem with this is that when that small piece of anxiety hits me, my mind is not refreshed to the current events that God is working on in my life.  We have to remain up to date and refreshed in the word! We cannot allow outdated information about ourselves to cause panic (take note that any information about YOU that does not line up with the word, is OUTDATED).  This can be fixed by rehearsing the word of God until we are automatically refreshed (even when bad things are actually happening around us).  Lastly, a lot of times we have people around us that don’t really KNOW us and because of this they might interact with us based on outdated information.  It is not our responsibility to prove that we are different…however, the fruit of our lives will eventually show up and refresh our reputation and character.

REFRESH yourself in the word anytime past events, thoughts, and mindsets come to give you outdated information.

P.S. There is a prayer request tab above (next to “About Me”).  Feel free to leave thoughts, comments, prayers and content requests there!

You’re Going to Need a Shovel!

I love instrumental music! There’s something about being able to create your own sound and words.  Singing to instrumental worship music is absolutely freeing to me.  I was in a rehearsal or a service a while back and I remember being frustrated because I could not worship freely through song at home.  I began to wonder why, and I heard “The sound you want, you have to create.” A few months ago I made an investment.  I decided that I wasn’t going to sit on any more of the gifts that i have, and that I was going to perfect what had been given to me to encourage, minister to, and build up others as I am led to do so.

I learned a song in like five minutes today (by looking up the chords) and I started to play, and it took me back to that moment when I heard “the sound you want you have to create.”  I started to sing and it was an amazing feeling as I was able to freely worship through song and playing keys for the first time in a very long time! It reminded me of Matthew 25:14-28.

14-18 “It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money.

So let me be transparent: I buried the gift of playing piano because I didn’t feel “good enough,” I was too lazy to perfect the gift, I compared myself to others, the list goes on and on really.  I’ve been playing the piano since I was 4 years old.  Besides writing that’s the only thing that I had been perfecting since childhood.  However, somewhere along the way I gave it up, never losing the ability but burying it thinking that it wouldn’t be useful or necessary to myself or anyone else.  I didn’t know that years later, I would need that very gift for MYSELF.

24-25 “The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’

26-27 “The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.

28-30 “‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’

Ouch…That hurt! It’s time to dig up what you’ve buried so that you can honor God, and serve others.  What God has given to you, he’s given to you based on your abilities.  That means that you CAN do it! Comparing yourself to others, laziness or whatever is stopping you cannot be used as an excuse.  So get your shovel, dig up what you think you have buried and use it!

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